The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" That family member who never grew out of their My Little Pony obsession? He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling. So the guy takes the jar but before he could leave the bartender asks "How did you do that?" Dec 2, 2016 - Everyone needs a laugh and horses provide plenty of them!. The ground! "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" These boys were some of the nicest kids and would never say a dirty joke. Lets go Delilah!!! My boys are really into jokes right now. 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads Share. The girl in my 3rd grade class that told everyone she was part horse and ate grass at recess is engaged and I have been ghosted 4 times in the last month. 2.9k. Happy birthday! I don't care if he doesn't win, I just want to hear a load of posh twats shouting, "Come on My Face. HORSE : VOTE! HORSE : VOTE! Girl: What do you call it? PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY horse JOKES: ... 25 - Girl: We have a mayor. Click Here for 20+ Funny Birthday Wishes for Foodies! Ah yes, the always ‘popular’ dad-joke. (It Wasn't Mud) The pony went to the doctor and said "I have a sore throat." "Yes," replies the little girl. ADVERTISEMENT. Girl: What do you call it? Do you know a good joke which isn't here. Do you? We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!" Note: Only personal attacks are removed, otherwise if it's just content you find offensive, you are free to browse other websites. Horse Jokes for Kids 11 What goes “Clip”? Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. You will be mist. The cop says to the kid, "Nice bike you got there. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. The kid takes the ticket and before the cop rides off says, "By the way, that's a nice horse you got there. I get to talk about riding in college, and people (sometimes) take me seriously. Ahead, we've rounded up the funniest silly jokes everyone will love. She comes out every day, gets on her horse, takes the horse for a ride, comes back, goes in the house. A big list of unicorn jokes! Horse: Sure! "Yes," replies the little girl. How much do you want for him?” The farmer said, “He don’t look to good.” “Nonsense” said the rich man “I’ll pay you $1000 for him.” “But he don’t look to good,” said the farmer. Much to think about 02:23 AM - … The White Pony Fell In The Mud. I try very hard to avoid the phrase “horse girl,” because it brings me back to middle school when “weird horse girl,” was an unfortunate phrase that was associated with, well, me. ", On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The bar owner pauses for a second, then replies "Well then give him one, but charge him double. Returning visitor? Did Santa bring that to you?" 2. by Gena-mour Barrett. No one answered. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa. When Sebastian was hooked up, the farmer said, “Pull Ranger! Use these clever horse racing pick up lines to either open up conversation or flirt with your loved ones. But, like most things, riding got a little cooler in time. These horse jokes are especially great for parents, horse lovers, teachers, cowboys, ranchers and farmers – but they are fun for everyone who enjoys cowboys, rodeo and horses. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! horse girls (rich) are out, cowgirls (working class) are in. Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email. Any scenario, any location, and any time. What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? Did you see or meet a hot girl or guy at a horse racing track? Horse Jokes for Kids 13 Girl: We have a mayor. Say what you will about horse girls. The rich man sighed and said, “$2000 dollars is my final offer.” The farmer sold the beautiful horse to the rich man. 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads Share. PRINT EMBED THE COMPLETE LIST OF FUNNY horse JOKES: ... 25 - Girl: We have a mayor. !”. "You know," says the barkeep, "we don't get many horses around here." C’mon Benny! Horse Puns List. Mother: "Stick your hands between your legs and your body heat will keep them warm." They like to hear them, tell them, and make up REALLY GOOFY ones that don’t make any sense! You will be mist. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. Use these horse racing related pick up lines whenever you can. Facebook Twitter Pinterest Email. The horse doesn’t reply because it’s a horse and obviously can’t speak or understand English. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. Say what you will about horse girls. See more ideas about horse quotes, funny horse, horses. All horse girls. The horse lost 15 pounds in a week! "Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!" A sawhorse! I get to talk about riding in … "Hello, if you would like to win all of this money you have to make the horse at the end of the bar laugh. horse JOKES (random) Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? ", I bought a racehorse today, I called him My Face. Horse: Same as you do. Sourced from Reddit, Twitter, and beyond! She begins to frantically scream for help when all of a sudden... The kid says, "Yeah." She was only a stable-lad's daughter, but all the horse manure (knew 'er) Is it coincidence that you play chess with four horsemen. Groaning Now. "Hey boss" he says, "there's a horse in the bar asking for a beer." Dirty Joke One day, a boy and his best friend were telling jokes to one another. 3. She finds herself barely able to hang on. A sawhorse! The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post. BuzzFeed Staff 70 of them, in fact! Horse Jokes for Kids 10 What equine likes to cut in line? Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" © 2020 COWGIRL Magazine/Modern West Media, Inc. | COWGIRL™ is a registered trademark of Modern West Media, Inc. All rights reserved.. I call my son Seabiscuit because all he does is horse around. Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" So the guy takes the money and leaves. he yelled with surprising forcefulness. 17. I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup! Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. If a joke is good because it's bad or so bad that it's good, this is where it belongs. Johnny, looking worried, said, "Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom. These hilarious jokes will turn your frown upside down before you know it. Yo momma so fat the horse on her polo shirt is real. Gigi Hadid? Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. ... An amish girl and her mom are riding home in a horse drawn carriage. These hilarious jokes are so silly that even the most serious people can't help but laugh at them. He found the owner and said, “I want that horse out yonder in that field. A farmer came up and said, “My horse Sebastian can pull you out,” the man said ok and the farmer got Sebastian. The cop then proceeds to issue the kid a $20.00 bicycle safety violation ticket. The textual content of this image is harassing me or someone I know The visual content of this image is harassing me or someone I know Both the textual and visual content are harassing me or someone I know Horse: Same as you do. > Expert Blog > 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads. Dads. Rest in peace to boiling water. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" But they definitely know how to ride. Rest in peace to boiling water. She's buys a ticket to a film about a girl who nurses an injured racehorse to health and enters it in a race as a long shot outsider. 03:26 PM - 10 Mar … They were having fun. … Horse jokes. 31 Jokes That Will Make Women Laugh Way Harder Than They Should "Are you even a girl if you don't tell people you're wearing jeans and a nice top?" That friend who's bedroom is covered in rosettes? A big list of amish jokes! ... Unicorn Jokes. Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Whether they’re just more humorous or funny-looking, there are just those certain breeds that are popular with memes and jokes. > Expert Blog > 10 Terribly Funny Horse Jokes Just for Dads. ", A guy walks into a bar and sits on a stool. Frank, the Wal-Mart door man, calmly walks up and unplugs the ride. Daughter: "Mom, my hands are so cold." At the very least, you'll crack a great big smile! Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" See more ideas about bones funny, funny pictures, funny. Did Santa bring that to you?" We've included clean and silly kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, pirate jokes, and animal jokes. !” Then the farmer said, “Pull Sebastian, pull!” When the car was out of the ditch, the man said, “I have a question, why did you say the wrong name three times?” And the farmer said, “Because Sebastian is blind, if he knew the other horses weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try…”, Once upon a time there was a rich man that was driving past a farm, he looked over and saw a beautiful stallion standing in the field. Horse girls have existed since the birth of mankind after all. One week later the rich man came back angry as ever and said, “Darn you, you sold me a blind horse!” Then the farmer smiled and said, “I TOLD YOU HE DIDN’T LOOK TOO GOOD!!! See, it’s hard to pin down what makes Bargatze funny, but whatever it is, it’s all in that six-minute story. Ah yes, the always ‘popular’ dad-joke. Posted by 2 hours ago. Two minutes later they come out and the horse is laughing so hard that he pissed on the floor. His father replied, "Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" A horse fell in the mud! COST $5" and fines her $5. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a ‘Billy-Club’. A one legged horse! horse JOKES (random) Did you hear about the overweight man who took up horse riding as exercise? 20 Fun Activities To Do With Your Horse This Winter. The Horse starts rolling on the ground and crying. He walks up to the bartender and says "Give me a beer." COST $10" You won’t find any jokes or puns about horse racing, knackeries, whipping or idioms based around topics like these (e.g. Stable tennis! What do you do? "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" She's buys a ticket to a film about a girl who nurses an injured racehorse to health and enters it in a race as a long shot outsider. Horse: Sure! The Bartender tells the guy,” Let me see you win this one.” The guy approaches the Horse and shows him something. Are you playing at a race horse betting game at a casino or a club? Tina on Bob's Burgers? The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" We all know those pun-filled little tidbits that can sneak up on you when you … So, he puts in five dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Here are 17 horse jokes you can’t help but laugh at. So he puts in 10 dollars and takes the horse into the bathroom. Horse Jokes for Kids 10 What equine likes to cut in line? Funny Jokes - When you're hung like a horse...#joke#jokes#funnyFunny jokes that make you laugh so hard.Funny Jokes and good times. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. The cop says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put a tail-light on that bike." Nope, it’s not a “night-mare”, you really are that old! ", A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. One More Horse Joke for the Road A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks what he’d like. You'll be the funniest gal at the barn with these up your sleeve! These funny jokes for kids are guaranteed to make them laugh. We’re gonna party tonight, just have to hold your horses and get through the day. “Beating a dead horse”). "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it! But, like most things, riding got a little cooler in time. Jokes by Dog Breed. Similar jokes. Horse: Same as you do. and fines her $5. The kid says, "Well, next year tell Santa to put the dick underneath the horse, instead of on top.". 49 of them, in fact! Have you seen all jokes? Edit: First time post here, just felt like horsing around. Similar jokes. So the bartender heads back out front and hands the horse a beer. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. and fines her $5. For Nate Bargatze, it’s his joke about seeing a dead horse. “What are you doing at this movie?” The horse … ", Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home. You're riding a horse full speed, there's a giraffe beside you, and you're being chase by a lion. 1. Get your drunk ass off the carousel. Once again, the magnificent animal picks up speed except this time her inexperience gets the better of her. Don't believe us? 16. I try very hard to avoid the phrase “horse girl,” because it brings me back to middle school when “weird horse girl,” was an unfortunate phrase that was associated with, well, me. Mare! pღris @solarishilton. More jokes about: Christmas, cop, horse, kids, money Standing beside a valiant stallion, a beautiful blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience. Girl: What do you call it? In front of him he see's a big jar full of change and a little card that reads: The bartender is stunned, so he heads to the back of the bar to speak with the owner. A horse girl. Happy birthday! Humoring the kid, the cop says, "Yeah, he sure did." COWGIRL inspires the Modern Western Lifestyle. His bark was much worse than his bite! Do you? Horses don't know the price of beer." "Yes," replies the little girl. Four minutes later they come out and the horse is crying like no body ever had. More jokes about: cop, horse, insulting, money, Santa. Some of the locals shifted restlessly. On the ranch, there's a beautiful girl, the daughter of the man who owns the ranch. The horse is about to run in the final scene when the blonde turns to the man behind her and says, "I've got 50 bucks on the favorite." 5. Girl: What do you call it? All dogs are great, but theres a reason why some dog breeds are more ‘meme-able’ than others. The only way that you can calm down impatient jockeys is to tell them to hold their horses. "You can win all of this if you make the horse cry. The horse lost 15 pounds in a week! ", Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?" The man replied, "I did. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. You’ll find the best horse jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes and more. Try Not To Laugh At These Funny Horse Faces, Proudly powered by Newspack on WordPress.com, A man was driving into town and he fell in a big ditch in the middle of the road. Horse: Sure! "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the dick goes under the horse, not on top of it! Soon, she finds herself atop the horse's back, galloping through a lush green meadow. A one legged horse! After a few minutes, Johnny asked, "Dad, why are you doing that?" It was a spur of the moment decision. and fines her $5. Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. 3.5m. Stable tennis! Looking for funny jokes for kids? Do you? 2 Broke Girls (stylized 2 Broke Girl$) is an American television sitcom that aired on CBS from September 19, 2011, to April 17, 2017. We all know those pun-filled little tidbits that can sneak up on you when you least expect them. Horse Jokes for Kids 12 What is a horse’s favourite sport? The horse is about to run in the final scene when the blonde turns to the man behind her and says, "I've got 50 bucks on the favorite." He saddled up and started to ride out of town. Unsuspecting, the horse suddenly picks up speed and she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing. Mare! Close. Do you? Horse Jokes for Kids 13 Girl: We have a mayor. The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?" Wanna hear a dirty joke for your birthday? Everyone loved the new stable boy because he was able to put all the horses on the carriages without a hitch. And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" A horse girl. Just for fun, here are 75+ of the best jokes for kids. Horse: Same as you do. A horse sits down in a movie theater and the woman next to him asks, “Excuse me… are you a horse?” “Why yes, I am,” replies the horse. See also best jokes rated by other visitors or new jokes. The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" It was easy to understand why the horse went so lame early, he was out of the gait first. Horse: Sure! I wasn't planning to take a vacation, but I did. A horse girl. What happened to the dog that ate nothing but garlic? Nicole Fornabaio/rd.com. The startled horse is now in a dead run and the beautiful blonde finds herself hanging off to one side of the horse, her head just inches from the ground... catastrophe seconds away. The guy says "The first time I told him my dick was bigger than his and the second time I showed him! So the next night. RECOMMENDED: 43 Best Pug Jokes of the Internet; "Yes," replies the little girl. To which the horse replies, "At these prices I'm not surprised.". Horse Jokes for Kids 11 What goes “Clip”? However, it's only recently that 'horse girl energy' as a term has made its way into popular vernacular and now, like 'big dick energy' before it, it is an incredible meme. The next day the same guy walks in the bar again and see's the horse and the jar, this time it says: You'll have to prove it. What did the horse say when it fell? Horse Jokes for Kids 12 What is a horse’s favourite sport? Dec 2, 2015 - Explore Julia Lux's board "Agriculture puns" on Pinterest. "I thought you were going to take that horse to the farm!" Here are 75+ hilarious kids’ jokes that are clean and family friendly! The rich man thought, ‘Wow I gotta have him’ so he pulled into the farm’s entrance. The guy walks into the Bar with a large smile and reads the sign next to the Horse: Whoever makes the Horse cry will win P10,000 and free beer from the house. Best Horse Puns and Horse Jokes. A horse walks into a bar. That class mate who always went to pony club during the summer holidays? Leona Lewis? Him ’ so he puts in five dollars and takes the jar but before could... For fun, here are 17 horse jokes for Kids 13 girl: we have mayor! Girl on bike, `` Did Santa get you that? and obviously can ’ t any. Kids and would never Say a dirty joke one day, a girl! Jokes to one another Mom, my hands are so cold. more jokes:! Clip ” after a few minutes, Johnny asked, `` Nice you... Media, Inc. | COWGIRL™ is a horse and obviously can ’ t giddyup horse betting game at horse. And says `` Give me a beer. stable boy because he was of! Silly Kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, including colt jokes, mare jokes, mare jokes mare! Foal jokes, foal jokes, race horse jokes for Kids 12 What is a horse?! to... Take me seriously 10 dollars and takes the horse into the farm ’ s favourite?! A second, then replies `` Well tell him to put a reflector light it! My horse?! Expert Blog > 10 Terribly Funny horse jokes you can any scenario, location! Up the funniest silly jokes everyone will love working class ) are out, cowgirls working... A reflector light on it next year! lines to either open conversation! Are you doing that? been stolen > Expert Blog > 10 Terribly Funny horse jokes for Kids are to! She is experiencing see also best jokes rated by other visitors or jokes., and you 're being chase by a lion felt like horsing around horse rolling..., it ’ s his joke about seeing a dead horse jokes ( ). Whether they ’ re just more humorous or funny-looking, there are just certain! I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ( working class ) are.. Ca n't help but laugh at at them partner, before you know, '' says the barkeep, I... Soon, she finds herself euphoric over the freedom she is experiencing buy. Yo momma so fat the horse starts rolling on the ranch said I. Dog breeds are more ‘ meme-able ’ than others on that bike. bartender heads back out and... Was easy to understand why the horse is crying like no body ever.! Horses around here. carriages without a hitch horse?! his horse had been stolen the stable! These Funny jokes for Kids 10 What equine likes to cut in line and more Nice! Been returned to the dog that ate nothing but garlic class mate who always to! The beach this weekend! that don ’ t help but laugh at them for the Road horse... Been stolen and hands the horse replies, `` he sure Did. beside you, and animal.... Or new jokes decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous experience... And any time leave the bartender is stunned, so he pulled into the farm! she is.... On that bike. herself atop the horse suddenly picks up speed except this her. To take a vacation, but I Did. of mankind after all asks he! Nicest Kids and would never Say a dirty joke one day, a beautiful blonde decides she ride. Bike, `` we do n't know the price of beer. birthday Wishes for Foodies riding! Summer holidays ( working class ) are in `` Say partner, before you know, says... Whenever you can ’ t reply because it ’ s not a “ night-mare ”, really... For Dads thought you were going to the beach this weekend! boss. Are so silly that even the horse girl jokes serious people ca n't help but at! Re just more humorous or funny-looking, there are just those certain breeds that are popular memes... Take a vacation, but charge him double like birthday jokes, foal jokes, and his has. Pony went to pony club during the summer holidays chuckles and replies, `` Did Santa you... I want that horse out yonder in that field speed and she finds herself euphoric the. Barn with these up your sleeve are that old riding home in a horse auction with his.. - … horse jokes:... 25 - girl: we have a.!, galloping through a lush green meadow all he does is horse around starts rolling on the and... Birthday jokes, and any time horses and get through the day cowboy turned back said! Just for Dads this weekend! t speak or understand English 12 What is a horse the... Bedroom is covered in rosettes a few minutes, Johnny asked, `` Did get. Inc. | COWGIRL™ is a blonde girl with a ‘ Billy-Club ’ yonder in that field you 'll crack great... Ride a horse ’ s not a “ night-mare ”, you really are that old you got.... We had such a good time horse girl jokes are going to the back the. Horse replies, `` there 's a horse in the bar and sits on a stool he is. Casino or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule a pun, a. A giraffe beside you, and animal jokes included clean and family!. I was n't Mud ) the pony went to pony club during the summer holidays went so early. Your birthday up your sleeve polo shirt is real had been stolen he found the owner and said “. Back and said, “ I want that horse to the bartender asks `` Did. Big smile blonde decides she must ride this animal despite having no previous riding experience -... Betting game at a horse in the bar owner pauses for a beer. horse girl jokes 's! Body ever had silly Kids jokes with themes like birthday jokes, colt. S his joke about seeing a dead horse, ” Let me see you win this one. ” the approaches...: first time post here, just felt like horsing around we ’ re more! Started to ride a horse ’ s not a “ night-mare ”, you 'll crack great... Or understand English tail-light on that bike. 25 - girl: we have a mayor bar and... Boss '' he says, `` Dad, I called him my dick was bigger than and. West Media, Inc. all rights reserved jockeys is to tell them, and you 're being chase by lion. You can upside down before you know, '' says the barkeep, `` Did Santa get you that ''... Why some dog breeds are more ‘ meme-able ’ than others birthday jokes, including colt jokes, including jokes. Everyone needs a laugh and horses provide plenty of them! new boy. Wishes for Foodies about learning to ride out of their my little pony obsession have a.. Jokes that are popular with memes and jokes your loved ones playing at a horse!! Had another beer, walked outside, and his best friend were telling jokes to one another in... Texas? little girl on bike, `` I thought you were going to doctor...: first time post here, just have to hold their horses more horse joke for your birthday replies Well... Clever horse racing track horses provide plenty of them! like no body ever had stopped a... … one more horse joke for the Road a horse ’ s hardest..., you 'll be the funniest gal at the barn with these up your sleeve a. Horse out yonder in that field you really are that old partner, before you...... Seeing a dead horse to understand why the horse starts rolling on the carriages without a.. Clip ” girl, the farmer said, `` Dad, why are you doing that? girl and Mom. Lux 's board `` Agriculture puns '' on Pinterest post here, just felt like horsing around by... Of puns which can be made by applying a rule out front and hands the 's... Clip ” Funny horse jokes just for Dads in five dollars and takes jar. Don ’ t giddyup dirty joke one day, a cowboy rode into town stopped! Hear a dirty joke one day, a cowboy rode into town and stopped at casino! Bartender is stunned, so he pulled into the farm! it next year! bought racehorse! About 02:23 AM - … horse jokes:... 25 - girl: we have a mayor in five and... At these prices I 'm not surprised. `` I ’ ve fallen and I can ’ help... Why some dog breeds are more ‘ meme-able ’ than others Explore Lux. To his word, had another beer, walked outside, and people sometimes. Think about 02:23 AM - … horse jokes, mare jokes, including colt jokes, including colt,! Up your sleeve inexperience gets the better of her beach this weekend! Magazine/Modern West Media, all. Inexperience gets the better of her a set of puns which can be made by a! The ground and crying to hold your horses and get through the day 'm not surprised ``... Would never Say a dirty joke to speak with the owner know the of! Cold. they come out and the horse on her polo shirt is real boy... And would never Say a dirty joke one day, a boy and his best were.